Having grown up in a fairly LGBTQ+ friendly environment, I had never really given where I could safely travel to a second thought. It might sound ignorant, but I had just never realised how many countries were still completely intolerant to same sex couples, and that it was in fact still illegal in so many places, even to this day. It wasn't until we travelled to Antigua back in 2016 that I realised that my wife and I (girlfriend at the time) wouldn't be welcome anywhere. The hotel that we had chosen to stay at had several different rooms types. We had requested a king but after getting to our room we soon realised there had been a mistake. We had two small doubles, which was fine but honestly Debs is the biggest fidget during sleep so we would have preferred a bigger bed for the two of us. Anyway, long story short, they had told us there were no king's left and we'd have to make do. Not only that, but each night we pushed the beds together so that we could still sleep next to one another but with a little extra space. Upon coming back to our room every single day the beds had been moved back to normal. Clearly the idea of two females sharing a bed was beyond the cleaning team at this particular resort.
(St James Club, Antigua. We hope the rules here have changed since our last visit!)
Anyway, after realising that LGBTQ+ travellers weren't as welcome as heterosexual travellers in the Caribbean, I began researching every place we planned to visit, taking notes on areas where we were welcomed, tolerated, or faced potential risks. I've compiled some insights from my journey and thought it might be valuable to share to our community.
Firstly, I'd like to say that just because some countries are still not deemed 'friendly' to the LGBTQ+ community, I'd advise you to research a little harder. Let's take our recent trip to Saint Lucia for example.
In St Lucia, it is generally 'frowned upon' to be in a lesbian relationship, and completely illegal for men to be in a same sex relationship, however, we must remember that just because a population is deemed to be something, does not mean that every individual within the demographic are of the same mindset. We personally had an incredible experience in Saint Lucia, and even had a tour from a friend of a friend who is a Saint Lucian native. She spoke to us about friends who she knows on the island who are gay and couldn't care less about how people choose to live their lives. A perfect example that we cannot judge an entire nation based on a general opinion.
(Us at the Tet Paul Nature Trail, Saint Lucia)
If you've chosen to travel to a country that is somewhat intolerant to LGBTQ+ folk, I'd recommend finding forums or groups to engage with about their own personal experiences with your chosen country. Try to find another couple like yourself who have actually been to your destination and can offer a more accurate representation as to what the people are really like.
I'd also recommend spending a little more time researching your hotel and choosing somewhere who values every one of their guests no matter what their orientation. Some resorts that are more traditional in their beliefs might not be as welcoming as a newer, more worldly brands.
To give an example, Jamaica is Forbes' no.7 worst place to travel for the LGBTQ+ community, however my sister in law and her wife have spent weeks in this beautiful country with no problems whatsoever. They stayed in a sandals resort and never had any concerns about their safety whilst there.
My next piece of advice would be to hold the PDA, particularly outside of your hotel or resort. I know that it's 2024 and we should be able to do whatever the f**k we like with whoever we choose, but sometimes your safety is more important than proving a point. When travelling in Egypt, Debs and I opted to hold off on almost all PDA outside of our hotel room as it was very clear that the staff seemed uncomfortable with our relationship. We were told several times to tell people we were sisters, and that it was dangerous to admit our real connection to one another. If it seems necessary, leave gestures of endearment until you feel safe to do so.
(Secrets Cap Cana, Dominican Republic. Super inclusive resort!)
Lastly, please don't forget to look into each countries laws before booking your trip and act accordingly. In July 2023, a man was arrested in Turkey simply because the police thought he 'looked' gay. A horrific ordeal for this man, but a reality that so many of us face when travelling to places that aren't as accepting as we want them to be.
Please stay safe on your travels and let your friends and family know where you are, when you're due home and if you ever get into any trouble whilst away.
Becca x
Comments